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The Guys' Rules
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The Guys' Rules
Posted by
webmaster
21 May 2004 4:11pm
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally,
The guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear 'the rules' from the female side. Now here are the rules from
the male side. These are our rules!
Please note... these are all numbered '1'
ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,
put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the
tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of
it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints
do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't
expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the
ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want
it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing,' we will act like
nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an
answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared
to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster
trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the
couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like
camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them a bigger
laugh!!
woo hoo
Posted by
Rampage11
(VIP) 21 May 2004 5:48pm
i printed that list and hung it on fridge, nuttin can beat that , man that was great dont like the seat up ? put it down!!! lol man i love it those r my new rules but the only one that will get me in trouble will b the fat one , man if i ever said that whatch out , but all the others r good headache for 16 months lmao
ROFL
Posted by
PEGASUS
(VIP) 23 May 2004 1:03pm
Believe it or not...I enjoyed this one too. Especially the one about Christopher Columbus. Now .... QUESTION!!!! WHY won't men stop and ask directions? It saves SO much time when you're lost.
Why don't men ask for directions?
Posted by
Ed_Blue
(VIP) 23 May 2004 1:33pm
The answer is simple. If we took advice a long time ago we wouldn't have gotten married. Think about it guys. Imagine earning all the money we did and not spending it on the wife and kids? We could spend our remaining days on the French Rivera.
Just kidding. Been happily married for 39 years and to the same woman.
A bachelor's perspective
Posted by
calc_guy
23 May 2004 10:40pm
Here's the REAL answer ...
If you stop and ask for directions:
1) 0.3% of the time, the person you are asking will just pull out a gun and blow your head off for wasting his time, or demand all your money. It's not often, but how often can you afford that?
2) 72% of the time, the person will give you WRONG directions, so you'll wind up spending much more time going down blind alleys than you would have on your own. Women ar just happy to have an answer, so they can blame someone else when it doesn't work out.
It's really just common sense, which is what all those points look like to me. You women are FAAAAAAAAR too trusting!
calc_guy
calc-guy
Posted by
BlueShores
(VIP) 24 May 2004 5:44pm
cough cough, no we not!........... what about the other 27.97% tee hee
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