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More Funny Football Quotes Posted by PEGASUS (moderator) Nov 8 2006 1:16PM Chuck Mills: "When it comes to football, God is prejudiced - toward big, fast kids." Luke Salisbury: "Watching football is like watching pornography. There's plenty of action, and I can't take my eyes off it, but when it's over, I wonder why the hell I spent an afternoon doing it." Sue Lawley: "American football makes rugby look like a Tupperware party." Frank Middleton, Oakland Raiders; prior to Super Bowl XXXVII he was asked what was the best thing his ex-head coach Jon Gruden did for the Oakland Raiders. Frank said: "Leave." Torrin Polk, University of Houston receiver, on his coach, John Jenkins: "He treats us like men. He lets us wear earrings." Terry Bradshaw: "I may be dumb, but I'm not stupid." Reggie Williams, when asked his greatest strengths as a football player : "Speed, strength, and the inability to register pain immediately." Elbert Hubbard: "College football is a sport that bears the same relation to education that bullfighting does to agriculture." Randy Cross: "The NFL, like life, is full of idiots." Joe Jacoby: "I'd run over my own mother to win the Super Bowl" Matt Millen: "To win, I'd run over Joe's mom, too." Blackie Sherrod, on an auto wreck involving hard-living quarterback Bobby Layne: "After indulging is some heavy, late-night research with some scholarly friends, Bobby was driving back to his hotel, innocently enough, when he was side-swiped by several empty cars lurking at curbside." Duffy Daugherty: "A tie is like kissing your sister." Jeff Kemp: "Rapport? You mean like, 'You run as fast as you can, and I'll throw it as far as I can'?" President Gerald Ford: "I had pro offers from the Detroit Lions and Green Bay Packers, who were pretty hard up for linemen in those days. If I had gone into professional football the name Jerry Ford might have been a household word today." Emmitt Smith, when asked about new Cowboy coach Bill "The Big Tuna" Parcells: "I have not talked to him, but I have been eating a lot of tuna." Jack "The Assassin" Tatum, former Raiders defensive back: "I like to believe that my best hits border on felonious assault." Howie Long, having fun at the expense of Fox colleague Terry Bradshaw: "In Montana, they renamed a town after an all-time great, Joe Montana. Well, a town in Massachusetts changed their name to honor my guy Terry Bradshaw--Marblehead." |
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