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Steven Wright Quotes :) Posted by PEGASUS (moderator) Nov 8 2006 11:42PM If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week. I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol. I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy. If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough! Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb! Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States. If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they. When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded. Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo! If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn? Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk? What happens if you get scared half to death twice? I poured Spot remover on my dog. Now he's gone. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name? For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain. Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines! Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor. I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes got stuck in my nose. If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving definitely isn't for you. |
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