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Misc. Funny Quotes (unattributed) Posted by PEGASUS (moderator) Jan 27 2007 10:05AM I live in my own little world, but it's ok, they know me here. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with. I don't approve of political jokes...I've seen too many of them get elected. If life deals you lemons, make lemonade; if it deals you tomatoes, make Bloody Marys. I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys. I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect. I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been giving me lately! Every day I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive. No one ever says It's only a game, when their team is winning. If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway? How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America? Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well? How long a minute is depends on what side of the bathroom door you're on. The next time you feel like complaining remember: Your garbage disposal probably eats better than thirty percent of the people in this world. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled. |
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