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MIDDLE WIFE...true story <img src="http://www.gamecolony.com/forumhtm/images/face1.gif" width=15 height=15 border=0 align="absmiddle">
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MIDDLE WIFE...true story <img src="http://www.gamecolony.com/forumhtm/images/face1.gif" width=15 height=15 border=0 align="absmiddle"> Posted by PEGASUS (VIP) Feb 14 2006 12:05AM This one is a true story told by a second grade teacher. FUNNY !!<br><br>MIDDLE WIFE<br><br> Some words you'll have to think about to know just what she was<br> 'meaning' but if you sound the words aloud, you'll get what word it should<br> be...this is just too funny!<br><br> I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade<br> classroom a few years back.<br><br>When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get<br> over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet<br> turtles , model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they<br> want to lug it to school and talk about it, they're welcome.<br><br>Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant.<br>'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.<br><br>First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine<br> months through an umbrella cord.' She's standing there with her hands on the pillow and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me.<br><br>The kids are watching her in amazement.<br><br>'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, oh, oh!<br> Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'' Now the kid's doing this hysterical<br> duck walk, holding her back and groaning. 'My Dad called the middle wife.<br> She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man'. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this'. Then<br> Erica lies down with her back against the wall. <br><br> 'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew<br>up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!' It was too much!<br><br>'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push, and breathe, breathe.''<br>They started counting, but never even got past ten.' 'Then, all of a<br> sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff, they all said<br>was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there.'<br><br>Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat!<br><br>I'm sure I applauded the loudest.<br><br>Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along.<br> |
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